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How To Tell When Their Pants Are On Fire
We're all liars. It's part of human nature to lie--to cover up, to get out of trouble, to spare feelings. It happens because this is human nature. Lie detection is an easy way to deconstruct human nature so that we can slip into our prospect's or client's skin and understand what's going on with them. Why do they feel the need to lie? Learning to detect lies is a powerful persuasion tool that can open doors that were previously closed to us. Unfortunately, sometimes we don't like to know when we're being lied to.
(As in: "Yes, you look great in that shirt." I don't allow law enforcement officials of any kind nor do I allow prosecuting attorneys to attend my trainings because of the information that is (in part) in this article. It's a double edged sword. Knowing a person is telling the truth can be very reassuring. But realizing how often you are lied to can be very scary.
This information was once only know about by detectives and murder mystery writers. In the hands of someone who knows how to use it, this can help sort out family disputes, can help choose the more honorable person to hire, can sort out office disputes or even give you added tools in a job interview. Expert interrogators use these types of tactics to determine whether a suspect is telling the truth or not. You can see examples of it on television all the time-Law & Order, NYPD Blue-and in literature from Sherlock Holmes to John Grisham. Highly trained lie detectors are formidable opponents even if they lack persuasion skills. The reason I will only give a glimpse into these skills is because they are incredibly powerful and can (and are) used to manipulate. Anything more in depth has to be learned in my seminars and classes. This is one such exercise you can practice to learn to determine whether or not a person is lying. Step one: You will need to find yourself a willing partner. Sit across from a partner to practice.
Step two: Ask three questions which you are sure their answer should be 'yes'. And then ask three questions which you are sure their answers will be 'no'. Step three: First instruct your partner not to answer your questions. And then proceed to ask three more questions to which you don't know the answers. This part is about paying attention to their nonverbal responses. After you've done a few and noted these responses, ask them to confirm or deny. Step four: Switch roles. You'll learn something deeper about this if you're on the receiving end. Try this with your prospects when they use the old standby, 'I can't afford it right now.' How can you determine if this is true or not? If you had the knowledge that they absolutely could afford your product or service, would that help to give you the push you need to move past their resistance and make the sale despite feeble objections?.
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